I have a problem. Seriously. I can not do anything right in the kitchen. I don't get it. I am pretty good at most things I put my mind to. We are hosting James' band party at our house tomorrow night and we're responsible for providing the desserts. We decided to make something, rather than buy, because it is seems so much nicer (in theory) and my cupcakes for Dorian's birthday party were a success. I have memories of making fudge with my mother during the holidays when I was growing up, so I decided to tackle fudge-making. I looked up "Easiest Fudge Recipe" on Google and went with "Extra Easy Fudge." You melt 2 cups of chocolate chips in a saucepan, then mix together with 2 cans of store-bought chocolate frosting. Then pour in a pan and stick in the fridge until they harden. What could go wrong, right?
Um, EVERYTHING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I ended up burning the chocolate chips, but thought they would still be okay in the recipe (they only burned a LITTLE bit and I thought the frosting was so sweet it would cover it up). I didn't read the part about buttering the tinfoil on the pan before putting the fudge in (though I should get some points for at least covering the pan with tinfoil as directed). I just cut the fudge, but it was way too soon and I just made a horrible, gloopy mess of one side of the pan, and all the fudge is sticking to the tinfoil in ugly streaks. I made the mistake of trying a bite and damn, they taste horribly burnt. What a waste of $7 and 30 minutes. ARGH!!!!!!!!!!!
What is it? Why can't I do "cooking?" It seems that every time I see my Grandma, we have some kind of conversation about how I need to learn to cook or how I should be at least preparing dinners for my husband and child. And I always say I don't like to. Well, next time, I should just say "I'm obviously genetically fucked when it comes to cooking." My parents and brother don't cook either, though I certainly don't think they have the extreme issues I do. James never messes up anything in the kitchen. He baked a gorgeous carrot cake for the party last year (never having baked a cake before) and it was to die for. I think I need to be banned from the kitchen. (James, are you listening? Please!!!!!!!!!!)
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2 comments:
My fudge recipe is easier than that... let me know next time you need it. Which makes me think that cooking with someone experienced might be the best way to learn, instead of going at it alone. Let me know if you want to come over for a start-to-finish dinner party sometime!
I feel your pain. My ex-mother-in-law wanted me banished because I couldn't cook everything in the world. (never mind that her son really only wanted to eat Kraft mac 'n cheese, top ramen, microwaved corn dogs, and mayo and cheese on white bread sandwiches)
I still can't manage Key Lime Pie. But fudge I got...
Here's one. Never fails.
3 cups sugar
3/4 cup butter
1 bag chocolate chips
1 jar marshmallow creme
1 tsp vanilla
2/3 cup evaporated milk
Mix the sugar, milk, and butter in a saucepan and get it to a rapid boil. Turn down the heat a bit and let it boil for five minutes stirring constantly. Remove it from the burner, dump in the chocolate chips, marshmallow creme, and vanilla. Pour it into a very shallow pan greased with butter (I use a cookie sheet with sides that are about 1 inch high) Remove it from sight so elves, kids, parents, husbands, etc leave it alone to cool. Cut it up when it's all cooled off.
I've substituted butterscotch chips, white chocolate chips, peanut butter chips, (pretty much anything that's on the same shelf as the chocolate chips at the store) and this time I added toffee chips in the fudge and on top.
Give as much of it away as you can. Otherwise it sits in the kitchen calling to you all hours of the day and night...
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