My baby

Now that I'm working full-time and commuting up to 3.5 hours a day (yes, you read that right!), I literally cherish every second I have with Dorian. I am so excited to be able to spend this whole week-end with him! Then I won't see him for 3 weeks. I will be working 6 days a week for the next 3 weeks, possibly even 7 the last week. (My last day of work is April 17th.) My in-laws will be in town from April 2-20, which is great because they'll be able to help James take care of Dori since I'll be gone so much. But I'm a little worried because they're all going away for 4 days and I've never been apart from Dorian for more than 36 hours. I am scared he'll forget me! I love him so much. I love how happy he is to see me every day when I get home. I love how he hugs me and cuddles me and kisses me. I love it all!

These pictures were taken when I got home from work one day this week....

The Parkway Theater

The theater has closed. I am so very sad about this. I loved that place! I have been going to it since I turned 21. It was our date place. We went to see movies there with Dorian (Baby Brigade). Picture, pizza and pub (and comfy couches). For $5. It was incredible. Beautiful decor inside - very art deco. Wonderfully maintained. Lots of Oakland events held at the theater. Oscar bashes. Election night parties. Indie flicks. The occasional band night. Charity events. Truly the real gem of our neighborhood. I am so worried about what it's going to mean for the neighborhood...everything was starting to pick up and get "prettified" (or gentrified as my friend PRS puts it, but I don't care - whatever it takes). I grew up in the neighborhood and it was somewhat unsafe when I was child. And parts of it were downright ugly - liquor stores, graffiti, trash. In the past 10 years, the neighborhood has really changed. I am convinced part of this was down to the Parkway, which re-opened 12 years ago. And now it is another product of this f@#$ing economy. When will the madness end?

RIP my beloved Parkway (both pictures taken on closing night, 3/21/09)

Sleep Issues: Chapter 5,146

I don't know what's going on. Dori has been refusing to fall asleep until 9pm or later, then still waking by 5am. We have tried everything. My mom put him to bed Saturday night and had some success in keeping him in bed. She just kept telling him "Go back to bed, Dorian." When James and I do that, he giggles, thinks it's play-time. But if we shut the door to his room, he'll never end up back in bed. He just ends up playing with his toys. Or crying. It took my mom 8 times of doing that Saturday night and he eventually fell asleep. And then slept in his bed for 9 hours before joining us in ours. We thought, "GREAT!!!!" Mom said she'd help us out this week to try to resolve the issues. So last night, she came down and did the same thing. Took about 15 times, then we thought he was asleep. She went back upstairs. Literally 2 minutes after she left, he came running out. He KNOWS. He has us all figured out. Naps are completely off too. Dori went to my friend Kate's nursery last week while James in Las Vegas and she got him to take 3 naps, 3 days in a row for 2-3hours each day! She said it wasn't even challenging to get him down. Amazing. James got a good nap out of him the day after too (and he fell asleep on his own without crying). We thought we'd beaten it. But then Friday, Saturday and Sunday were complete losses in regards to naps. He's not teething. He has a little cold but nothing major. He's pretty darn happy when he's awake. Not too many temper tantrums lately. Why, oh why, can't we resolve this??????????????????????

TGIF

What a busy week it has been. My classes are almost done. I am now working full-time. The commute still royally sucks. I am so looking forward to this week-end. James is going away for 5 days tomorrow morning (with the band). I will have Dorian to myself all week-end, as my parents are going away too. Pray for no temper tantrums. We've got a lot of social events planned so it should be a fun week-end for us both. Stay tuned!

Soooooo cute!

I hadn't seen Dori is 36 hours - I stayed overnight in Half Moon Bay last night. When I returned home, Dori and James were in the bath together. Dori was soooo happy to see me! When I pulled him out, he cuddled me so close. We went into his room together and he just giggled and giggled and kept jumping on me. Then he would hug me and clasp his arms around my neck. It was amazing. I love my boy.

Kisses

Dori started blowing kisses a couple days ago and will do it if you say "Kiss, kiss" to him. Adorable. And his cuddles are the best. And his chattering away like he thinks you know what he's talking about. Oh, he is cute despite the tantrums!

Toddler Years, Be Gone!

What a challenging day. And he even had a nap.

This morning was fairly decent, I suppose. Dori cried for about half of our morning walk. When we returned home, I babysat Dori's friend Dash again. Dash actually slept for most of the visit, but Dori didn't. I tried. Several times. He fell asleep as I was driving to go to my mom's work to help her with some spreadsheets (Joint Commission will be at the hospital tomorrow). So I turned the car around and came home. He awoke when I got him out of the car, but luckily he fell asleep again. He slept for almost 2 hours, but woke up in the foulest mood ever. Cranky, cranky, cranky. Once again, I will totally put some of it down to teething but come on!!!! He wants something, I give it to him, then he throws it on the floor in a fit of rage. Over and over again. I'm at the end of my rope.

It doesn't help that my parents took him yesterday and said he was good with them and then James said to me today that he's never like this during the week. Great. So it's just me. I'm a bad mother. That's fine. I haven't been feeling like the greatest mother anyway. But it royally sucks to have it confirmed.

Yes, yes, yes, I am excited about getting into school - it has been a good week. Well, apart from James being unavailable all week-end (band gigs and stomach upset) and my car breaking down last Friday on my way to work (and missing yet another day!!!!) And I've got a shitload of schoolwork to do tonight and for the rest of the week - last week of school! And I'm working 4 days in HMB, then 5 next week for the following 5 weeks. The commute is getting to me now. Well, not the commute so much as the traffic. I have to keep telling myself "It's temporary!!!" I am not looking forward to this week. But, yes, it has been a good week. I'm very lucky to have gotten into nursing school. But I am so annoyed with all this temper-tantrum bullshit. And everyone and their mother keeps telling me "Just don't react to them." Um, yes, I KNOW THAT! I don't react to them, or if I do, I just try to calmly talk to him. But all that pent-up frustration comes out as soon as he goes to bed and makes me wish I still drank and smoke. Thank god for alternate vices - ice cream and yoga (okay, so I'm trying to make that last one a vice). AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Even better

So Dori refused his nap again today. More temper tantrums ensued. But we ended up having a good afternoon anyway. I babysat his friend Rowan again (we did last Saturday) - we're going to babysit him a lot this month so Ro's parents will take Dori several times when James leaves me to be a single mother in April.

Rowan and Dori are so cute together. I love the fact that Dorian has friends. It is actually so much easier to take care of them when there are two of them and they entertain each other. Even play together a little. Okay, there were lots of pushes and shoves but they're getting there. They are adorable as a team. But I am not going back on my earlier statement - I still don't plan to have any more kids. Maybe a few years, new children's sleep drugs, and a ticking biological clock will change my mind but for now, that's my statement and I'm sticking to it.

I am in a much better state of mind tonight than I was this morning. I am glowing because although my mani-pedi has been postponed, my hair looks gloriously blonde and thin (she thinned out about half of it - we were left with a hairball the size of a cocker spaniel on the floor - no joke). I love it. I loved my run this morning. It felt so good to get my heart pumping again - walks and yoga don't quite do it most of the time. I hope to try out the running stroller tomorrow morning with Dorian - remember that thing? Yeah, the one Dorian refused to ride in. James took him for a walk in it last week because his other stroller got wet...he said he did fine. So hopefully the little brat will allow his mama to get her endorphins going again tomorrow morning. I can deal with him so much better when I am high off exercise.

Mama Time

That's better. I just got back from a run around the lake in the morning sunshine. I'm getting my hair cut and colored in a half hour, then a mani-pedi afterwards. Just what I need.

Then I'll be ready to tackle the little brat again. Just kidding. I really do love him, you know?

I am so lucky to have a husband and parents who love him too. I sure couldn't do this parenting thing on my own.

Too young to get my tubes tied?

Would any doctor do it? I don't want any more children. No. No. No. Can we fast-forward through the toddler years please? Temper tantrum after temper tantrum after temper tantrum. The past 2 hours was one long temper tantrum. My parents just took him off my hands and I told them they can keep him.

And his sleeping has totally regressed. Completely. He has refused naps 4 out of 7 days this week. And last night it took me 2 hours to get him to sleep. He's not doing it on his own anymore - we have to be in there with him. And back to waking up, crying all the time. He has been teething, so I'll give him that, but still, we're pumping him full of drugs. He seems 100% fine (no pain) until it's time to go to sleep...so we think it's an act. And no, it's not the being flat on his back that's causing more pain. Trust me, this kid has us figured out - he knows how to try to get what he wants.

I love him to death. I really, really do. But never again. I will get my baby fixes from being a nurse and helping other people with their babies.

University Acceptances

I got into the 1 year Accelerated Bachelor of Science in Nursing program at Samuel Merritt University! I start May 26th and will complete the program 12 months later. Hopefully, I will be a Registered Nurse by June 2010 (have to pass the licensure exam after completing the program). Yay!

Also, James' sister Hannah was accepted into university for occupational therapy...congratulations Hannah!