Back to work tomorrow. I will likely work 3 long days a week until March, then full-time (5-6 days) until the end of tax season. I've had enough time off - 17 months! It's time for me to bring home the bacon, especially since I will hopefully be in school full-time soon.
I was supposed to start Monday but I was still getting over a nasty stomach bug. The whole family had it (we gave it to my parents too). Oh, it was horrible. I lost 7 pounds and am just now able to stomach something other than dry toast. It's been 4 days! I look awful. It would have been a great diet for losing the baby weight about 6 months ago but I really didn't need it right now. I look like the walking dead. Luckily, I am going back to work at an accounting firm, not a modeling agency or anything.
We're finally working on properly weaning Dorian but of course, it's been tough since he had the stomach flu. We had to put it on hold (AGAIN) for a few days. I haven't nursed him at all during the day for the past couple days. I went 12+ hours both days and my boobs survived too. I'm relieved. I REALLY didn't want to have to pump at work again...it's such a drag and there's no real private area to do it in. Nights have been trickier. Dori is sooooo used to nursing himself to sleep. So we're focusing on the daytimes right now since I will still be around at night. He did manage to fall asleep last night without nursing, but tonight he cried for 2 hours so I finally gave in and nursed him to sleep. At least 2 hours of crying would buy me time to get home from work...I shouldn't be back home too much later than 7:30pm each day.
And so we persevere. Being a parent is hard. Really hard. I'm having second thoughts about wanting more children. I love my child to death, but I don't know if I'll have the strength to deal with all this again (and by this, I mean the sleepless nights, insane jet lag, sleep training, bottle refusal, pacifier refusal, attachment to nursing, refusal to wean, screaming for hours on end, etc). Dorian is an amazing child and I wouldn't change him for the world but I can't say he's been easy. Quite the opposite actually. Having a child really makes you wish you were born with more patience.
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I feel you...I love my son, and my nieces and nephew (soon to be plural,) but I couldn't do it again.
I remember how difficult my oldest niece was when she was around Dori's age, but her two little sisters were completely opposite. My brother got it the other way 'round; the oldest was an 'easy' baby and toddler, but the younger two are total demons. So you never know. You're second child might be perfectly angelic. :-D
I'm done though. Physically, there's no way I could. The first time was awful enough. I think my mother still hopes I'll 'find someone' and get the baby bug. We were babysitting my brother's kids today and they were so cute dancing and singing along to Sesame Street and she remarked that it reminded her of when Brendan was little. Then she asked if the nostalgia sparked any desire to have another. I laughed.
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